The Big Z [pre-2010]

to step out of the world

fella ya fell for a spell

things that can't be shared

whispered to the frozen stars & snowflakes seen from an abandoned truck stop

words etched in ice, written in snow

secret ways of old travelers

the young couples in front of the art

is there any point in the telling

in documenting

for me or future me or posterity

i want you to know but you don't follow

workin for the big Z

big letters in front of my name

self-love bullshit

not talking about the hurt

eat your school, drink your teeth, don't do sleep, and get 8 hours of drugs

stop looking

lower your expectations

reject self-love, reject self-care, reject the self

leave the valley

find a new goddess to worship

craft songs and lay them at her feet

to be ignored

lay money at her feet

to be picked up

build her stairs

to be ascended

statistically all species are extinct

my personal extinction isn't so bad

everyone thinks it ends with them

but the flowers keep blooming

only, i wonder of the infinite tyrannies to come

the infinite silences

nothing blooming forever

is just as likely,

is the true state of things

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